I’m running a half marathon…

Next month I will be attempting to run the Cardiff Half Marathon with a group of Cardiff Uni students and Alumni. I am running to raise money for Dementia and Mental health charities! I am incredibly nervous as I have never ran that far before! I have finally found my perfect running pace, I am at my fittest I have ever been, and training has been going incredibly well, but it is still a daunting task. 

Dementia is a horrible illness that we need to find more about, currently we do not know for certain if there are any common factors that increase risks of dementia and so it makes it incredibly difficult to treat and live with. The families of suffers of dementia also suffer whilst they watch their loved one deteriorating. Research and awareness is essential to try and combat this illness and help suffers live out their lives the best they can.

Mental health is something that touches us all. Many of us will know of friends and family members who have suffered with mental health conditions and you may even be trying to live one of your own. It is something never to be ashamed of, the bravest thing in the world is asking someone for help. And it is vital that there is effective help there for all those who need it. 

So if you feel as though you want to donate anything toward these then you can donate on my JustGiving page here all the proceeds will be going to those charities!!

Thank you all 

Namaste

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Graduated!!!

So I graduated from Law School this past July! The whol ceremony was amazing I loved every minute of it! It was a happy and sad occasion. Happy because we all finally got through our degree, we are all LLB graduates! But sad because some of these people I have seen almost every day for the lady three years. I’ve met some truly amazing people and i dearly hope we never lose touch. 

Since graduating I’ve spent my summer working in the Legal Sector, it has been the ,sorry amazing experience I could’ve hoped for. While I will miss my team I am so excited to get back to uni to start my LPC course! 

The future is bright, be courage and take every opportunity.

Hey all….

Sorry I’ve been AWOL and literally posted nothing for months. This past year has not been easy, in fact it’s probably been one of the hardest things I’ve have faced. But I have finally competed my Law Degree (woo me!) and I’m going to be posting weekly at a minimum from now on. Some posts may be quite personal. But all in all I’m excited to get back into the swing of regular writing!! 

Namaste

Abigail 

Does the pain every really leave you…

…or do you simply get used to the feeling until something else comes along to fill the hole inside you. Do we ever allow ourselves to truly heal? I think not. We love so strongly, so passionately, it intoxicates us like a drug. We plan the future, we make memories, and suddenly it is all gone.Nothing can compare to the breath-taking, sharp pain of separating; going cold turkey from your ex-lover. But then it gets nasty, the love turns to hate. It becomes a competition of who can do over the other better, who can lie and argue more convincingly. Who can shout ‘I hate you’ with more venom. And why? Because the pain is unbearable. We hurt those we once adored and wanted to spend the rest of out lives with all because we ourselves cannot breath under the crushing weight of suffering.

But the fact we hurt those we once loved just shows how much we love them. You see, the opposite of love is not hate. When one falls out of love, when feelings dry up, it is indifference, not hate that you feel. That is the true opposite to love. Many people convince themselves throughout this war that they have no feelings, that they are over it. But that is where they are simply lying to themselves.

We live in a society where it is encouraged to find another lover quickly. To replace him first, to show her and everyone else I’ve moved on. But the truth is, in this culture of rebound relationships the only people we are really hurting our ourselves. We hid the truth, we pretend so convincingly that we fall for it ourselves so we appear to be strong, unmoveable. When the truth is we are so easily breakable, and now we are left feeling alone and terrified because we are shattered. But we cannot continue like this, and sooner or later we crash; finally admitting the truth, that all along you missed her so badly you lost yourself.

There is no shame in admitting the pain, there is no shame in admitting that you still have feelings, and there is absolutely no shame in changing your mind and wanting to go back. Look at yourself, and deal with you before you cause irreversible damage.

Ethnic vibes

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This is one of my favourite outfits! Jeans and shoes from new look, hat from topshop, sliky blouse that gives it vibrant colour with its enthically inspired patterns from river island and fur gillet from misguided!

“Body Shaming…”

(Unpopular opinion alert)

I’m sure that many of you will have heard of Tess Hoilday, the first size 22 model to be signed to a major modelling company. Understandably this caused a lot of controversy, with the “body positives” seeing this as a victory against the “anorexic, starved, traditional model”, and the “health promoters” completely disagreeing.

I have to say I am with the health promoters on this issue. It is by far an unfounded stereotype that all models starve themselves, I’ve seen models and they can eat! But importantly, like the VS models, they work hard for their bodies.

Personally I see the “body positives” as an excuse for extremely overweight people to do nothing about their weight. In Britain in particular this is a growing acceptance of being obese, but as soon as you say that you are “happy with the way you are” then you’re being “body positive” and if anyone even hints at going on a diet (or even worse the gym!) then you are “fat shaming”. This to me is completely ludicrous. If you are, as you say, completely happy with your body, at the weight and size you are then why would you care what people thought? The only way that someone can make you feel ashamed about being “fat” is if you already, deep down, feel ashamed about it.

Which leads me onto another point. Telling s fat person to go on a diet or go to the gym results in a huge backlash from all the “body positives”, however, a large, or fat person is fully within their right to tell a person who is slender, skinny, fit, muscular, that they have “gone too far”, to “get some food in them” and that “men like women with some curves”. How then is this not “skinny shaming”? And while we are on the topic, why must we quantify how attractive a woman is on the basis of what “men like”?

I go to the gym 4 times a week, I eat healthy, I sweat it out at cardio and I lift. I do this for myself. For my future health, so I am strong and that in my eyes I look good. I’m not suddenly going to give all of this up now because some insecure overweight women say “men like curvy girls”.

If you truly are going to be an advocate for body positive then you should promote all bodies. The naturally slim ans willowy, the built and fit, and the curvy. What we should be promoting is health.

The ‘Friendzone’

So, I’m sure you have all heard of the ‘friendzone’, it’s used that often that I wouldn’t be surprised if it was now in the dictionary. Truth is, its a classic story seen over and over again, as if it is on repeat through the generations, Almost all girls, and boys for that matter, will, at some point in their lives, have a best friend of the opposite sex. I’ve seen it many times and it has happened to me, but whenever a girl gets particularly close to one guy whispers always sprout up questioning what is actually going on with them. It seems that a girl can never be just plain and simple good friends with a boy without anything more.

Or can she? Be honest with yourself, how many of you have had a best friend of he opposite sex and caught yourself smiling when you see their name pop up on your phone? How many of you have missed them on days when you don’t talk? How many of you have found that they are the person you tell first when something happened? How many of you realise that all you want in your day it make that person smile? You see how easy it is for feelings to get confused. For friendship to quickly become something more.

Yes there may be those few who are tucked securely in the friendzone’ with no hope or longing to climb out of it. But every once in a while one escapes, he slips under the radar and you don’t realise until its almost to late.That this is the guy you want. The one who brings excitement and laughter. The one who really, truly knows you to your very core. The one that is all you can think about, first when you wake up in the morning and last when you go to bed at night. Then, if you let your guard down long enough you know you could find yourself loving and wanting him, and i would be like they describe it in the books, passion so overdue it explodes like fireworks, and it would seem that even the heavens would be singing in joy for you.

But, at what cost?

You let your guard down as one slipped through then you find yourself playing a risky game of Russian Roulette with your friendship. Is it worth all the heartache once you realise that when this is over so is the friendship you once had. Do you really want to risk losing it all for the chance that he may be the mystical “one” promised by romcoms everywhere? Is it worth the risk of losing the one friend who knows you better then you know yourself?

No. And with that broken heart you securely tuck the lost chance back into the safety of the friendzone.