…or do you simply get used to the feeling until something else comes along to fill the hole inside you. Do we ever allow ourselves to truly heal? I think not. We love so strongly, so passionately, it intoxicates us like a drug. We plan the future, we make memories, and suddenly it is all gone.Nothing can compare to the breath-taking, sharp pain of separating; going cold turkey from your ex-lover. But then it gets nasty, the love turns to hate. It becomes a competition of who can do over the other better, who can lie and argue more convincingly. Who can shout ‘I hate you’ with more venom. And why? Because the pain is unbearable. We hurt those we once adored and wanted to spend the rest of out lives with all because we ourselves cannot breath under the crushing weight of suffering.
But the fact we hurt those we once loved just shows how much we love them. You see, the opposite of love is not hate. When one falls out of love, when feelings dry up, it is indifference, not hate that you feel. That is the true opposite to love. Many people convince themselves throughout this war that they have no feelings, that they are over it. But that is where they are simply lying to themselves.
We live in a society where it is encouraged to find another lover quickly. To replace him first, to show her and everyone else I’ve moved on. But the truth is, in this culture of rebound relationships the only people we are really hurting our ourselves. We hid the truth, we pretend so convincingly that we fall for it ourselves so we appear to be strong, unmoveable. When the truth is we are so easily breakable, and now we are left feeling alone and terrified because we are shattered. But we cannot continue like this, and sooner or later we crash; finally admitting the truth, that all along you missed her so badly you lost yourself.
There is no shame in admitting the pain, there is no shame in admitting that you still have feelings, and there is absolutely no shame in changing your mind and wanting to go back. Look at yourself, and deal with you before you cause irreversible damage.