- Its okay to be nervous. Everyone is in the same boat and just as nervous as you are. Unlike High School and younger this is the first time in our lives where it’s more likely that we don’y know anyone so it is only natural to be nervous.
- Don’t be shy. Talk to everyone, in my case there were hundreds more people on my course than I was used to. Sitting in my first ever lecture and seeing how many people there were was extremely daunting, Al I could think was “how on Earth am I going to manage to make friends with anyone?” The answer to that, talk to everyone you sit by in lectures, and in tutorial, you don’t want to give off the impression that you’re rude or stuck up, sooner or later it will pay off.
- Do actually do the homework and tutorial prep, it will pay off when exam period rolls round.
- Have Fun. You’re in your first year, with very little responsibilities, so make sure you go out with friends and enjoy yourself.
- Don’t shit on your doorstep, meaning don’t hook up with a guy/girl in your own halls for a one night stand, you will have to see them every day and guaranteed your flat mates will revel in the awkwardness.
- Be yourself, acting like a different person just so people might like you is pointless, the real you will come out eventually.
- Don’t be scared to ask for help if you’re struggling with your course, chances are a lot of other people are too so you wont be the only one.
- Feeling homesick is nothing to be ashamed of.
- Make sure you stock up on fruit, and cold medicine, 9 freshers out of 10 will get freshers’ flu, even if you’re living at home.
- You wont like everyone you meet, and that’s okay, the important thing is you deal with it maturely. Don’t be two faced, be polite and civil if you have to talk to them but don’t seek out their company otherwise.
So since my second post I’ve been pretty inactive, I have a posts I’m working on but for some reason I just can get them right. If I’m honest I’m lacking motivation for writing at the moment which doesn’t help the matter. I can go for weeks at a time a write page after page but then, out of no where the inspirations, the ideas and the motivation just evaporates. It’s so annoying! I’m really OCD so I hate starting something without finishing, but when it comes to writing I have half written drafts saved everywhere. I’m sure I have the start of a book saved on my laptop somewhere that I just can’t seem to finish.
I often wonder why this happens. Why can I fly through some things and then struggle to even half way on others. I came to the conclusion that not all my ideas on that particular topic had formed, there where still gaps that needed filling, I should still be in the mind mapping stage and not rushing ahead to finish it. After all you cant rush writing, I seriously doubt that any writer or journalist finished their novel/essay/article in their first sitting. So bear with and stick at it.
When people look at me I am sure that ‘Buddhist’ is not the first thing that springs to mind. I am though. Okay, so I can’t and I don’t call myself a fully fledged, strict, pure Buddhist, but I am trying. My parents are not particularly religious but when I was young, like a lot of children, I went to Sunday School. Now I can’t say that my belief in God or Jesus went any further than the children’s Bible I was given for Christmas, or the colouring in of Job, Moses, Noah, Peter ect (depending on the story of the week) But as a child I was content, and that was enough. As I grew, however, and did more in-depth Science, the beliefs that were instilled in me (albeit with the aid of the colouring books) where contradicted by what I learnt. I simply couldn’t believe anymore.
Also through the time I did go to church I came to realise that just because you labelled yourself as a ‘Christian’ that didn’t necessarily mean that you were a nice, or good person. On the contrary, there were a number who were extremely judgemental, hypocritical, discriminatory and down right nasty people there, who convinced themselves that just because they had an excellent attendance record, and took part in charity event that had secured a place in paradise.
While I considered myself as atheist for a long time I still was curious. I was always fascinated with Buddhism. How calm, peaceful a way of life it seemed. As I read more something just fell into place. it all made perfect sense to me. But there was one huge issue; I was not exactly the perfect candidate. I have a temper, I hurt people, I drink, I like to spend money on pretty things that I don’t really need. But I decided to give it a go.
At first I was met with amusement when I told people my intentions, Even though none of them said it out load I knew that they where all thinking that this was just some phase I was going through that wouldn’t last long, and honestly I felt the same. There was no way I would keep it up, I didn’t feel any different, I wasn’t any nicer, and I was a rubbish vegetarian. But I don’t give up on things easily and I wasn’t about to start.
Somewhere along the line it clicked, and I noticed a difference, not a huge one mind you, nothing worth writing home about, But for the first time in a long time I finally felt calm, I didn’t spend my nights lying awake worrying about endless things. It felt wonderful. Now I am not perfect, and the worried did return, but this time I could deal with them before I started losing sleep.
During all of this I always thought to myself is it faith I am after, or something else? Now I believe that I was not searching for something to believe in to give me all the answers. But I was searching for something to fix me. To help me cope with all my issues, without resulting in sleepless nights or a breakdown. I still have more to learn, I am not a perfect example, but I am trying and that is what counts.
Well here we go. starting is always what I find the hardest. The blank, pristine white page staring back at you, taunting you, waiting for you to make a mistake. Once you have got over the first hurdle then the rest is easy. I ask that you stick with me while I’m still finding my feet. To start with there will be no particular theme, I’ll just be writing about what gets me thinking.
I won’t make any promises that what I write will be fantastically written, or be any great inspiration to anyone, but no one got anywhere just of their first attempt. Believe me I don’t have any unrealistic ideas that I am going to become a famous blogger/writer and have the easy life, definitely not. In fact I don’t really know what I want to do anymore, but that is for another post.
Days may lapse between posts, I am not a machine I cannot churn out endless posts. I will need some time to create posts that are worth reading. Some days there may be numerous posts, others there may scarcely be any, my motivation may be lacking. For now I will take my leave, to contemplate my next post.